A good friend sent me a comic book drawn by one of his friends. I haven't finished reading it, but till now the most impacting drawing has been this:
The translation goes moreless like this:
"I love you"
"Like the adults do?"
"No, truly."
This last two years i have heard a lot of adults speaking about love... and that drawing nearly broke my heart... sad but true.
Nearly two months since i moved to Madrid and i think i have to break my silence. Not to talk about Madrid and why i moved... just to write about thoughs that have come to my mind during this two months, and that in the last week have taken shape.
One good thing about Madrid, at least, is that here i have much more friends and relationships than in my hometown. That gives me the possibility to somehow experience and analize more people and situations that take place with them. Of course, sharing a flat helps. It's never easy... and probably sometimes it's really hard. At the same time, while analizing other people, sometimes i discover new things about myself. Some are good things... some are not so good... and most of the time... it's just what it is, not bad, nor good, just reality.
This last week i have been thinking about gifts, especial presents that people that loves you gives to you to show they do. Although i like presentes, i have never been able to appreciate them too much. I mean... to show the people that i appreciated it. You can give me a book that i have been looking for for two years... and i will only be able to say "thank you". Most of the people would start jumping, clapping hands, shouting their happiness,... i just said thank you and felt really bad for it. Tried to explain that i was really happy for that gift... and again, felt really bad for not being able to appreciate that present in a way that my friend could understand how grateful i was.
But reality is that althoug i can be thankful, and that i like gifts, i don't appreciate them much. At least i don't appreciate them as much as most of the people do. That has been something that i have known for a long time. Is all about the laguajes of love and all that stuff, my languaje is not gifts, bla, bla, bla... no problem. But this last week i have realiced, that it was not just that.
I have noticed that if i don't appreciate gifts it's because most of the people that give them to me, don't have an average good way of treating me. I think it's difficult to speak myself... What i mean is that i appreciate more if someone cooks for me 10 days in a month a normal meal, rather than if someone makes a huge supertasty dinner just once. I appreciate more someone that takes interest for me every week, rather than a puctual superdeep conversation once a year. Of course, with people that lives far away that's difficult. But now i am speaking about people in Madrid, about the people close to me.
Some like to show me their love for me with one punctual thing, really good thing, from time to time. Others like, maybe not to be so... excellent, but take the work of doing it many times. I have understood that i appreciate this last much more. I think that maybe is because i think i would like to be an all day everyday friend, not a once a month one... And probably with some people we are... with some others we can't, i don't know.
Just words.
Probablemente la mayor boca de la NBA, y el tio además era bueno.
La altura está sobrevalorada: he jugado con muchos paquetes muy altos.”
“Creo que mi peso ideal es el peso en el que esté cuando estoy en la pista.”
“No me suicidaría. Soy una de mis personas favoritas.”
“Mientras Bird esté en la liga, seré el segundo peor defensor del baloncesto.”
“Pensaba que Bill Laimbeer es el tipo más despreciable y desagradable de todo el baloncesto… pero por otro lado, siempre lo respeté como jugador.”
Tras remontar un partido en el que llegaron a perder de veinte puntos: “Éste es un partido que, si lo pierdes, te vas a casa y le pegas a tu mujer y a tus hijos.”
Como contestación ante la gran cantidad de demandas interpuestas por asociaciones feministas tras esa última declaración: “Me meo en esas mujeres.”
“Iba a donar la cantidad de mis multas a los sin hogar: pero es que al final de la temporada iban a tener mejores casas que yo.”
Tras la victoria de Brent Barry en el concurso de mates del 94, fue el primero en sacar conclusiones: “Un blanco ganando el concurso de mates, la NBA está en decadencia. Necesitamos otra marcha del Millón de Hombres”.
“Soy la mejor persona que conozco.”
A Oliver Miller, compañero de equipo en los Suns con continuos problemas de sobrepeso: “¡Ni siquiera puedes saltar lo suficiente para tocar el aro a no ser que te pongan un Big mac en lo alto!”
Sobre su contratación por los Rockets: “Me acuerdo sentarme con los Rockets y decirles: “Sí, me voy a retirar”. Ellos dijeron: “Bueno, te daremos nueve millones de dólares”, a lo que respondí: “¿Tenéis un bolígrafo encima?”
“Hey, Stanley, serías un gran jugador si fueses capaz de decir dos palabras: estoy lleno.” (Hablando con el peso pesado Stanley Roberts).
Al retirarse: “Esto es justo lo que América necesita: otro negro sin trabajo.”
Sobre el contrato de Kevin Garnett: “Es un montón de pasta. Y lo está ganando un negro. Qué gran país es éste. Imagínate si supiese jugar.”
A Kenny Smith, compañero comentarista y ex-jugador: “Me gusta que los Celtics sean competitivos, porque era muy divertido ir al Boston Garden: te escupían, te tiraban cosas y hablaban de tu madre. Como si estuviese cenando en casa de Kenny.”
“La iba a denunciar por difamación de personalidad. Pero entonces me di cuenta de que no tengo personalidad.” (Sobre Tonya Harding, ex patinadora)
“¡Me encanta Nueva York: tengo una pistola!”
“Mi familia me criticó cuando dije que Bush sólo se preocupa de los ricos. Así que les recordé: “Eh, ¡que soy rico!””
“Si no ganara más de tres millones de dólares jugando al baloncesto, la gente correría en dirección contraria si me viese por la calle.”
Justo antes de su famosa carrera contra el árbitro Dick Bavetta: "No tengo nada contra la gente mayor; algún día quiero ser uno de ellos.”
Ernie Jonson, comentarista de la TNT: “¿Cuál es el problema de los Knicks en este momento?”Charles: “Que no son buenos.”
EJ: “Auburn es una muy buena universidad. Supongo que para graduarte allí realmente tuviste que trabajar muy duro y esforzarte al máximo… Charles: “20 puntos y 10 rebotes también te ayudan, no creas…”
EJ: “¿Te reconocieron en Dakota del Sur?” Charles: “Sí. Fue fácil porque yo era la única persona negra allí. Cuando me veían caminar por la calle decían: “Aquí viene otra vez”. Y cuando volví al año siguiente gritaban alucinados: “¡Ha vuelto, yujuuu!””
“Esta es mi agenda; Me levanto por la mañana, decido donde voy a ir a jugar al golf, y bebo cerveza todo el día.”
“He sido rico y he sido pobre. Ser rico es mejor.”
Sobre cómo Jerry Krause fue capaz de mantener su trabajo como General Manager de los Chicago Bulls: “Jerry debe tener fotos de la esposa de su jefe montándoselo con un mono”.
“Tengo una pregunta: ¿Alguna vez has visto a Gollum y Sam Cassell juntos en el mismo sitio?”
“Al Gore es un perdedor. Pero tan sólo es el segundo mayor perdedor de Washington. Los Wizards son los mayores perdedores en Washington.”
Antes de enfrentarse a Cuba en los Juegos Olímpicos de Barcelona ´92: ¿Qué que sé sobre Cuba? Pues que el país lo gobierna un andrajoso que fuma puros… eso es todo lo que sé.”
Sobre cómo Michael Jordan debía afrontar los agobios de la fama: “Contrata guardaespaldas. O haz como yo; golpea a unas cuantas personas y dales 10000$.”
“En mi ropa interior no viene la talla. Simplemente hay una etiqueta que dice: ENORME.”
Al ex-jugador y compañero comentarista Reggie Miller: “Reggie era el extra de Brokeback Mountain.”
“¿Tengo un problema con el juego? Sí, tengo un problema con el juego. Pero realmente no es un problema... porque yo me lo puedo permitir.”
Charles: “¿Sabes cuál va a ser un equipo interesante este año? Los Utah Jazz.”KS: “¿Interesante desde un punto de vista positivo o desde uno negativo? Charles: “Todavía no lo sé.”
Durante las finales de la NBA, Ernie Jonhson señala a un cartel en el que se lee: “Barkley = Tonto, Van Gundy = Más tonto.” Charles: “Hey, al menos ese tío sabe quien soy. Yo no tengo ni idea de quien coño es él.”
"El sexo y el golf son las únicas cosas en las que aun siendo malo en ello, puedes pasar un rato agradable.”
"Sabes que todo se ha ido a la mierda cuando el mejor rapero es blanco y el mejor golfista negro.”
Kenny Smith: “Se puede ver que Voshon Lenard ha estado un tiempo lesionado porque ha ganado un poco de peso.” Charles: “¿Un poco de peso? ¿Le llamas a eso un poco de peso? Eso es como decir que lo del Titanic fue un pequeño accidente marítimo. Vamos hombre, si creo que usa la misma talla de calzoncillos que yo.”
Se supone que debemos parar de comer cuando él lo haga? ¿Y qué ocurre si seguimos teniendo hambre? Joder, puede que el haya picoteado algo antes de venir a comer.” (Sobre las normas de protocolo antes de comer con Rainiero en el Palacio Real de Montecarlo.)
“Pese a ser un rookie Christian Laettner va a ser el hombre más fuerte de la NBA la próxima temporada. Se está pasando el verano llevando las maletas de 12 tíos.” (Laettner era el único jugador universitario del Dream Team del 92).
A lot of friends have accused me of liking teenagers too much. And well... i have to confess it, it's true. Some weeks ago an american team came to my town, and i ejoyed very much the time i spent with them. Now i am pretty sure that one of the main reasons of this was that most of them were teenagers.
But there is a logic reason why i like so much to spend time with them. And this doesn't mean i just enjoy my time when i am in their company. I also enjoy time spent with other people. But what i have discovered about teenagers is that their lack of maturity helps them not to take life so seriously. That means that when i start saying silly things without thinking about them before opening my mouth... they don't get upset!!!
They just think that is one more silly thing in life they don't have to take so seriously... laugh... and continue with their lifes without judging me because of that little moment of madness. Older people can't do that. They get upset with anything silly that i say, take it seriously, think about it, and judge me. There are some close friends with whom i can say silly things and nothing happens. This ones have also the advantage that i can talk about more serious things knowing they are enough mature to advice me. Probably with them i can be myself more that with anybody else.
Then it comes basketball... wich i am missing this summer cause i can just play once every two weeks. What i like about it is... well... because i am not as bad as playing football. That's one reason. The other reason why i always look foward for the next day when i'll play basketball, apart from meeting those nice guys i have mentioned before in my blog, are the concrete rules.
Basketball is easy. Has concrete and simple rules. You have to throw the orange ball trough the ring. You can't travel more than two steps without bouncing, etc... Is a known rectangular world, no surprises. You don't have to think more than to whom you will pass or when you will shoot. The options are finite. You have no more than 4 possibilities to pass... I like that... not to think, just play... time flows... while you're in that tiny little world, enjoying the game.
Books are also a rectangular world. But they permit me to be anyone... in anyworld. Probably that's one reason i like sci-fi books so much. They not just aloud me to be anyone at anytime... anywhere in this world. They also make me wonder what would be to live in other dimensions, planets, worlds... When i'm reading this world stays behind, while my mind can travel free...
Teenagers, basketball and books have always been like an emotional vaccation... some kind of places where i feel more free... where i feel more like being myself... or like being what i would like to be, how i would like to be.
Last month i have been thinking about the different worlds that i have lived in, or that i am living in right now. Two weeks ago a team from Tulsa, Oklahoma, came to my city, just to encourage the newest church in it, and try to spread the gospel a little more in Spain. I am not going to speak about what i think of what they did and so on. Just that i enjoyed very much the time i spent with them. Somehow they where a breeze of fresh air for me. A whole weekend speaking in english again, to feel that you're not part of the city, but a tourist. To feel the people staring and you cause you're surroundeb by 20 blonde noisy teenagers screaming and running. And without even caring about it. They made me remember my happy days walking around Europe, getting out of my daily routine, and feeling part of something more that what i am here in my hometown. I know that is just an illusion, but sometimes it feels good to live one, in helps me to get my emotions on vaccations.
Two weeks before this nice americans came here i had a "club day". This means that the people from the club in wich i play gather to play all morning. And later go to the beer festival, and have sausages and beer. I think basketball is the most kind side of my less christian life. This life sometimes is hard cause you can't never be absolutely yourself. Or maybe you can, but sometimes you can't share all of it with others, just because you're in a different wave from them. But anyway... as i have said they are the kind side of it all. I really enjoy their company, their jokes(although sometimes are a little bit weird), and their friendship. I really love those guys, and sometimes it breaks my heart to think about the lifes they're living, that is not bad at all... but i really believe could be better.
This last weekend i went to ContraCorriente, the biggest christian youth festival(or that's what i want to think), in Spain. I think that my main motivation for continuing going to it is just to meet some friends. Well... not some, but a lot of them. And they are those kind of friends with whom you can really be yourself fully. I know if i can count on someone(apart from God and my family), they are the ones. The hard thing is that i can just meet some of them once every one or two years... and coming back home, where they are not, is hard. But so it's life. This is the world i would like to live each day, and it's the most unreachable one.
More than a week has passed since we came back from our lighting trip to Lisbon, but i have been busy, i am indeed, but the memory of my thesis... is too boring and sometimes discouraging, so let's pour my opinions about Portugal now...
So portugese people is moreless what i expected. Small, brown, and full of hair. But really nice people. I couldn't met many of them cause Postugal is strangely invaded by spaniards, but the few i met were really nice, spoke softly(i like how portugese speak), and were very kind. I don't think we're so kind with french... so maybe between Spain and Portugal there is not this ancient hate that exists between french and spanish. The guy in charge of the hostel even called me "brother". Maybe he was christian? Probably not...
Anyway, people was nice. The country, from my humble point of view, not so much. Well... it was nice, but i don't really liked it. Talking with my uncle yesterday he described perfectly Lisbon with one word, "decadence". He said that city has a permanent decadent ambient. And it's true. Is not that is not rich, (not as much as Madrid or Barcelona, but not poor), or that is an old city, or somethig like that. Is that there is a decadent ambient that surprised me. More if we think that since Portugal went into EU, like Spain, it has suffered a really big economical growth. But when you go to Lisbon, at least my sensation was the opposite.
My uncle said that he loves that kind of ambient... i am not sure that i liked it. Anyway, i think my opinion was also based on the fact that we went there with a car. And driving in Lisbon is just crazy. Small streets, up and down, trams everywhere, not traffic lights... and drivers honking(that's american stuff i think) all the time. Really crazy. If you ever go, be sure not to do it by car. Or if you do it, park it somewhere and forget it all the time you spend there.
And apart from all that... Portugal is moreless like Spain. Nice coasts, nice palaces, good food,... more chaos, more silence. Strange combination. One of those countries were you realize how scandalous spaniards are.
So this year, after coming back from my european course, i joined my "all life" team. The basketball team from my neighbourhood. The difference this year is that some of the player with whom i was playing where the ones i used to train... about 5 or 6 years ago... or more. Now they have grown up. So i just joined them to play sometimes along the week. Not games, just train with them. I didn't want to compromise my saturdays keeping somebody who could play always from doing it.
But after some months, reality is that i am not only playing with them during the week... but also training them, going to their games as coach... And also training a junior team, with one of my senior teammate(too much mmmmms in that word? Drift i need you).
So anyway, there, up in the picture is the junior team that i train. From left to right and up and down: evidently me, Dani, his cousin Javi, Aitor, Iker(his brother and my teamate), Papa(i really don't know his real name), Gotxon(that was the first time i saw him, smart guy he came for the photo), and Valencia.
They are very few, but usually we count with some more players from the category the club has under them.
So they are the bad team, they are really bad, believe me. And the older ones are suppose to be good players. But reality is that as a trainer i have just won two matches with the olders. And all of them with the juniors. The first reason for that is that the juniors, i want to believe, are more serious than the seniors. (The videos are an example of that, the senior team dining.)
The other reason is that the juniors are so bad, and so innocent playing that they don't really have up side downs, like most teams have, during a game. It doesn't matter if the other team plays good or not, they moreless play the same way all the game. And the other team(and last weekend also their parents), finishes frustrated and throws the match to the garbage bin. I like the constant way they have got to play. Is a pity they are so bad, but their mentality is one of the bests i have ever seen in a team trained by me.
The seniors are something different. Much better players, but a really bad team. They don't know how to pass the ball. And that, doesn't matter what they say, is the most important thing for a team that plays basketball. Not the shoot, not the bounce, the pass. And that is something they don't do. Moreover i don't know how they do it... well i know... but we always end every game arguing one with each other... So in general they are all nice people... but... they are some viruses in the team... that don't just make it not work as a team, but also sometimes create a rare ambient.
Anyway... there was no virus in the dinner we had in a "sidreria"... wich is a... typical basque restaurant. Not high "cuicine", but home made... and really expensive. This time we had the luck of meeting a "hen night" or "bachlorette party" or whatever it is called the last party a bride has before her wedding(if that is not correct this time is Tere and Keilah's fault). So the table next to ours was full of mad girls looking for funny guys. And i must recognice that some of my teammates are really funny. The result is in the videos.
I have always liked that image. Some people think that is a little bit gore... but com'on i am the guy who can't watch "House" or "Grey's Anatomy" cause gets sick when they start talking, and sometimes showing, all that medical stuff... I know better than you what is gore, and that picture isn't.
So i have always liked it, and i think it's because i can feel identified with it from time to time. I mean that from time to time i feel like i have wasted all that's left in me, in my heart, and feel really empty, with the need of filling it up again. I suppose that's something quite normal. If you have lived your day fully, you should feel a little bit empty. Not just tired, but also empty, as if you have given all that was inside of you. And you need to fill your deposit again, because tomorrow a new days awaits... and you would like to live it as fully as today.
But sometimes i feel like my deposit is not enough to arrive to the end of the day. Someone comes to me and asks me a little bit of my fuel cause he has run out of it... and... crap, i am empty, i have nothing else to give. I usually feel a little bit guilty about this. Probably because i don't know how i always achieve to finish my day, to arrive to the goal. But somehow i think that maybe my incapability to give someonelse a little bit of my energy during my trip might make him stay for a long time stopped at the side of the road, waiting for someone with a heart more filled than mine to be a little bit more generous than me.
Probably my problem is that sometimes i am conscious of my limits. You know... i still have energy in me... but is just for me. Is the energy that i need to end my day, if i give it away, even to a beloved one, the one who is going to be lost in the middle of nowhere is going to be me. I suppose that that has got just one name, selfishness. And at the same time lack of trust. Trust that when i am going to be completely empty someone will come and fill me again. I suppose that i have never liked to depend on no one... but i still think my life would be better, if i would accept to empty my heart more usually, and therefore accept to fill it again.
Some have to leave, and others arrive. I think that's life. That cute thing you see between a couple of cheeks is called Morgan Grace and is the first baby of one of my mates(my God, he is even younger than me!!!:S)
Anyway... good news have to be spread even more widely than the bad ones. And the arrival of Morgan Grace Smith, and the good helth of her mum, are good news. So.. welcome to the world!!!
I usually never quote texts in my blog, but i found this poem in a book i was reading. Is a kind of answer the poet gives to those that think that when we, christians, pray, we make the part of the prayer, and also, the part of the answer. I like very much the last two verses:
So, Easter came, and Easter went... And after vaccations, i can make a little resume of my free week. My first one from the working point of view. Ok, so Easter started with the blood of passion painting my finger. Yes, here in Spain is costume, at least in the south to hurt yourself to ask God for forgiveness... so i hurt myself... just playing basketball... and of course it was not on purpose. After breaking my hand, almost all my fingers, and now this, i can say it, basketball is an extreme sport!!!
But, i cheered up that same night, in the concert to wich Javi had invited me. Deke Dickerson was the name of the band... well... it was the name of the guy... whose band played. Band... they were a trio. Rockabilly or rock and roll music to be more concrete. Simply awesome... they all sang, they switched instruments, double bass included, and was a very funny concert. "Deke" Dickerson, "Crazy" Joe, and "Sugar Balls", AKA, in that concert, as "Cojounes de Asucar". Really good and funny(and free) concert. Here's a little video... not good sound, but just to make you taste how funny the concert was...
Two days later we headed to Hossegor, to a capitalist party!!! Yes, lots of nice clothing brands have their stocks and factories in that french village. And once a year, on easter, they make a huge outlet park. So there we went. 5 hours of queue in the Carhartt shop had their wage, and now i have two new jackets, four trousers, two shirts, a present, and two hats more. Ah, and five pair of socks. Curious day... you can save a lot of money in clothes if you like the expensive brands, and go there with the idea of not buying clothes again till next year. And that was my idea.
That same nigh we spoke with Ainara, living in the states for... 6 months now? Don't really know. Anyway... my new iTouch is on the way. I know, i know...why not an iPhone? The ones who know me well noe the reason, i'm not going to spend 100$ more for a thing that i don't like as a mobile phone is.
So the next day we went to Eibar. To see my beloved friends in one more concert. I haden't seen them since Becca's wedding in September, so it was really nice to reunite with them, and to have a nice conversation with John. And... how could i forget, to confirm that this year i will probably go to ContraCorriente... i don't want to miss Blindside.
And after that... calm... and then the storm. Maria came from Barcelona with her boyfriend and Xabi, and we went to face the sea. It is really nice this days. Last week it broke the road, some benches, a market, two clubs, one massage centre, and left us with nearly no beach. But the waves were awesome, they still are, although i think it will be difficult to see again such amount of destruction.
Some months ago i found this nice drawing in the XKCD webcomic(see my links list). And well... for many people probably such situation is quite sad. To be in a loud party, dreaming with being with your laptop somewhere else. But i felt quite identificated with it. In LT, i had the opportunity to feel like that in several parties. The good side of the story is that i didn't need to dream much. When i got bored of drunk people looking for more drinks or sex, i just left. (Funny that someone described me as a party boy... what would spaniards think of that description of myself?)
But anyway... sometimes parties can be fun, at least at the beginning. And you never know when you will find someone that is also dreaming with leaving it. I spent 10 months of parties without finding it... but who knows? Maybe is just a matter of continue looking.
Now my brother is in Lisbon, Portugal. And was far as i know he is trying to avoid parties, probably because of the same reason why i left them a year ago. I hope he finally finds the good point of going to parties... and have the wisdom to leave them when he starts dreaming with other things.
Your favorite food:
The town in which you live:
The name of your pets:
Your name:
Your last name:
A bad habit of yours:
Your crush/ love:
What car do you drive:
So although a lot of people is trying to explain me that we have to meet with other christians, cause that is the sure way to connect with God. Cause there, in the meetings, for sure we will find God. And if we don't do that... then, something is wrong with us. So, despite all this reasons, i find that i can't be sure to find God in a christian meeting. At least as far as that meeting is made of human beings. Of course, i don't mean that meetings are useless or that is impossible to find God in one of them. I am just saying that is not a mathemathic evidence, not a logic reasoning, that if we asist to one christian meeting, we will find, for sure, God asisting to it too. Of course, i believe we should gather, at least because one of those miracles i have talked about might happen, and we should not want to miss it.
So, another belief that is more and more being introduced in church, at least in protestant one, is that God is were people is very expressive. I mean... if in a meeting you sing loudly, you cry, you shout your prayers(very nice and humble ones), you dance, jump, etc... then you're connected with God, you're sensitive to the Spirit. And if all your prayermates do the same... God is there!!!
When i was in Barcelona i stayed at the place of a guy from a pentecost church. He told me that some weeks ago he went to a not carismatic church. The average age in that church was between 70 and 90. An organ, and two hundred grandpas and grandmas... imagine the scene. So they all started singing together one of those ancient anthems... and my friend told me that his skin turned into chicken skin. That somehow he could feel the joy of God listening that, for some people, boring music, sang with all those old voices. He told me he realised the reason of this sensation. It was that all those old people were happy praising to God like that. They were satisfied with that kind of worship, they happy offering those ancient anthems to God.
Of course, not speaking in tongues, and of course not dancings and jumpings, remember the average age. But still, somehow, God slapped my friend's face and told him "i am here". Of course, however knows me probably would know how happy this experience made me. Cause i am a not very expressive person. And i really don't enjoy much too expressive worship. Despite that, i don't consider i am more insensitive than the average believer to God's Spirit.
So from there i turned to Bible, as a goog protestant. Oh, surprise!!! Just before he started his ministry Jesus did something. He went to the desert and spent there 40 days... alone, looking for God. In the quietness, stillness and lonelyness of the desert. Moreover, there is one prophet, one of the big ones, that met God. And just before he met him, fire came, but God was not in the fire, and a hurricane, and an earthquake... but God was in none of those... God was in a gentle breeze... Curious... it seems that although God loves powerfull expressions and espectacle... He is not in them... curious... it seems that, we, shy people, not very expressive, and that long to look for God in the quietness of our secret places, or just in a lonely walk, we still can have hope that one day we might find God!!!
I would say more... it seems that we have more probabilities to find Him rather than the people with an espectacular spiritual life, and a null secret spiritual life. Still curious.
This last months I started again to asist to the prayer meeting in my home church. And this meetings sometimes make me remember the story a friend told me in Lithuania about a supercarismatic prayer meeting somewhere i can't remember. The thing is that although everybody was shouting, praying, jumping, etc... you know, the kind of things that very pentecost people like to do to probe themselfes they are nice christians. So although all this spiritual party, a little quiet girl went to the leader of the meeting, and told him, "i'm sorry, but God has told me that he is not here". So everybody was quite of surprised... so they continued praying... even louder... and... some time later the little girl spoke again... "God has told me that he is still not here". I can imagine the face of that people... probably they though that the girl was disconnected with God, trying to ask for attetion, or who knows what.
But anyway... the story reminds me usually of a quite important question, i think, at least for believers. Where is God?
Well... first of all i think we should say... that God is everywhere... cause we believe that He is omniscient... Yes... ok... and if we want to be more concrete, we could also say: God is wherever He wants to be, he is God. So... those two asserts are quite clear for me.
But some people go to Bible, and read some promises God did to believers, and they logically conclude that when some previous conditions are true, then, God should be there. One of those promises is in one psalm, can't remember the number, where it says that Gog pours blessings in the armonious gathering of brothers. How nice. But... when i see church nowadays... i think is pretty difficult to find completely armonious gatherings of believers. It's a disgrace, but we're humans, and the people that we can't swallow are humans too. And when you gather together more than 5 people, i think is quite difficult, if not impossible, to to enjoy one by one, the presence of everyone. And the few times that this might happen... i would call it miracle. Of course, reality is hard, and is even harder for nice christians like we are, to admit that we can't see that stupid guy sitting in front of us. So instead of that we smile and say, "God is here, look all of us smiling!!! That means that we are all celebrate the presence of each other." But is a pity... God doesn't look our pretty smiles, but our black hearts.
So, i think is quite difficult to asure that God is somewhere because everybody is gathering in a happily manner.
The other promise He did, and this one is always used in prayer meetings, was that he would be wherever two or more gather in His name. So, the logic conclusion that all smart christians find, is let's find at least another believer, gather with him, and make the magic spell "In the name of Jesus". And that's all... with that spell God has to be with us. And a lot of people believe that is true!!!
But, ok, i started to think a little bit further... cause sorry, is difficult for me to believe that with a spell were obligating God to come to us. He also said that if two of us agree in something he would give it to us. But i can't believe that if i convince someone to ask God for a couple of Ferraris(one for each), He would give them to us... mmm... although i have never tried... maybe i should?
So, what does it mean "in the name of Jesus"? I started by thinking in an easier example. Something like and embassador going to one country in the name of a king, for example. What does that mean? Somehow it means that whatever that embassador says, and does... is what the king he represents would do. So extrapolating the example to our situation. When we gather in the name of Jesus, it means that each act and word that we say, is what Jesus would do in such situation. Interesting... can we assure that each time we gather "in the name of Jesus" we are really praying, saying, acting the way that he would pray, say and act??? As i have said before we are imperfect and stupid human beings... So each time that we really gather in he name of Jesus, is not because of us, but because of the Holy Spirit living in us, another miracle.
So, here i am in the bus... on my trip from Madrid to Barcelona, rethinking and annalyzing all this days i have spent with my friends... from all over Spain to be true. So retaking my thoughs... we could sum up the weekend... as really good i think. Maybe a little boring, cause when everybody is resting... you finish tired of doing nothing, tired of being tired and resting...
So anyway, i have learnt that when you find someone kind of similar to yourself... being myself... is quite hard to get on well with him. Not because we don't like each other(i am speaking about myself), just because i think is quite hard to break the ice with another piece of ice. When you realize that... well... is funny... but you can't do anything... So it ends being a little bit sad.
I have also realized that somehow my childhood was traumatic. It seems thar everyone played to Mario videogame... everyone but me!!!:S They pass screen after screen saying, "oh how bad i am"... i think i couldn't pass any screen... And they remember all the tricks and things!!! How cand they??? I remember playing to Mario in one or two birthdays... of course i was as bad as today... but i can't remember anything... So now i understand why i am as i am. I was not a Mario freak, and that made a huge scar in my life...
We spent New Year's Eve in a house of a friend of a friend. More than 21 people there, it was cool, although i barely knew half of the people there... and i couldn't know very well the rest. But i think all of them were cool people. I liked it, is good to go to a place and see that people receive you as well as they can. You know... one smile, a nice word... all the things i can't do. Funny. Anyway, i also learnt that i offended a good friend some years ago. Is quite strange to realize how a word as simple as "lemonade" can harm. Anyway... i am finding that i spent half of my time harming the people i apreciate and love, and half of it asking them to forgive me...
I also focused a little bit more my thoughs about relationships, you know, boys, girls, and so on. I think talking with girls makes me think about that, and sometimes, just sometimes, i arrive to conclusions. Or maybe it was to observe my friend's first girlfriend... that was funny too.
