Madrid 2.0

Eleven months ago i moved to Madrid. And next, weekend i am starting a new phase in this... i would say "horrible", but let's just say, "city without sea", that will fit. Anyway... i have spent eleven months here, and from my last decisions, it seems that i will spend, if God doesn't comeback before, the next eleven too.

I haven't wrote much in this last year... actually... i think this is my second post... Anyway... a lot of things have happened in this last months, so i'll try to make a little resume, so that i can read it later... and think about it.

I have continuing travelling, although it sucks that with the EU i can't have new stamps in my passport, i finally knew Switzerland and Chzec Republic. And went back to Poland, Lithuania and Latvia. And as i said in my last post, i'm still looking for a home. Next year travelling plans are still in the air. I have an invitation to finally go to the States, that really excites me. But my sis will go back to Poland, and maybe i will visit her again. Yesterday i was thinking with a friend to go back to Lithuania... just Lithuania, but he went even more crazy, and through of a road trip through all Europe... to Lithuania. That would be great... and knowing my experiences in road trips... we'll probably end in Lithuania... but only God knows how we would reach it.

My and my workmate, and friend, Dan, got fired in february. And both founf a job one month later. He's earning more, but not so happy, i am earning less, but learning a lot. So it looks pretty fair. Anyway, about myself, i prefer my new job. The atmosphere in the other job became a little bit strange, and to be real we didn't have much work, so we wew being payed for doing almost anything. In my new job, sometimes i miss a little bit more organization(but i think is something not so strange in the little spanish businesses), but at least i am learning a lot. Right now we don't have so much work(Madrid closes in august), but still i have things to do.

And my workmates are nice people. And my boss too.

So next weekend i'm moving. As i said, new flat. Bigger, much bigger, and new. With new flatmates, with whom i not just share a good friendship but also a couple of hobbies, and some dreams. I think that's the thing that most excites me about next academic course(yes, still thinking as a student).

I am also thinking about signing up in History, in the distance university... mmm... I should check this out this week... time is running out.

These last months i have also learnt a couple of things. Probably the most important one, at least is what i think. Is that despite what i like to think, i don't know everything. Moreover... i know very few things. That's hard for someone who has always been so proud of his own self confidence, and his mind clarity.

I also learnt to be careful when i am surrounded by friends, by a not hostile circle. That can make me feel too confortable, and i lose tension. And when i lose tension, somehow i lose control of me and the beast i have(and all have), inside. And that's not good... i got tired of asking for forgiveness to people... and that don't really value it.

... and i have learnt more things... but i think this is getting too deep... and personal.

Searching for home.

There have been ages since i last wrote here. The last time was when i still was in Madrid, living happily with my couple of roomies. Since then, some things have changed.
I changed my flatmates, during the summer, and somehow it has been a little traumatic experience. To have more than 4 people living in a flat that is still small for three, during one whole month can be hard, moreover if you're the only one working in it.

But anyway. I still had time to travel a bit. I went to Switzerland(Geneve), with one of my flatmates and his beautiful girlfriend. Nice country, nice city. I found it a bit simillar to my hometown, but with even less nightlife.

After that i went to Poland, to Wroclaw, not Warsaw, to visit my sister, who was making her erasmus there, and who will make her two years master there. We algo went to Prague, to visit what is called the most beautiful city in Europe. I must confess i think there's a lot of marketing in that quote. Of course, Prague is really amazing... but it would be hard for me to say that is the most beautiful. What i can say is that is the one with more tourists. I still haven't been in Rome... but i'm wondering if the amount of tourists is simillar to Prague.


After visiting Poland i realized how much i missed Lithuania and my friends there. So i planned a trip to Kaunas and Klaipeda to visit old friends, and remember nice memories. Jesús came with me in this trip(and i am still waiting for him to pass me the pictures). Tnis was a different trip from the others.

I remember when our plane was flying, i told Jesús i was going back to my second home. He told me, "well... third one". And i had to answer him that i would consider the Basque Country as my first home... but i still can't consider Madrid as my second home. For now, Madrid has been just a phase. I don't know if it will become a home for me... but for now it isn't. So, yes, i considered Lithuania as my second home.

And i speak in past, cause after the trip my mind changed a little bit. What i found in Lithuania was what i expected. Super nice people, cheap country, true christianity, hospitality,... But it was also something else. Or maybe... it was that something else that i missed. I still don't know what it was exactly, or maybe yes. But things were different. Of course Jesús came back completely amazed by the country and people there. But somehow, i think as i already knew all the things that usually amaze firstcomers, i was expecting something else of my visit. Or at least what i already had in my first stage there. I really don't know. Sometimes i think, "aha, this is what has changed, this is what i missed this time". Other times, i don't really know why somehow i was a little bit deceived by my visit,... i can't say what i was expecting from it, butfor sure was something else, or something different.


So after my comeback to Madrid, my conversation with Jesús came back to my mind. I still can't consider Madrid as my home. And somehow i couldn't consider Lithuania as my home either, (maybe that was what i expected? a home where it wasn't?). So during this year i have visited four different countries, and somehow i still feel as if i haven't found my place in this world.

I remember speaking with Jurgita about my travelling dreams... maybe i am willing to travel, just because i am willing to find a place to be,... and i need to search for it. I was also thinking that probably i will never find my 100% home in this life, that would match my beliefs... so i should not be so frustrated, but sometimes i am too human, and i am.

I still don't know where i will search my home next year. There's a possibility to comeback to Lithuania, with a different purpose this time. And also i'm thinking of finally getting out of Europe and go to the States. And i would love to go to Asia next Summer(i think that has been my "dream" for the last three summers). But, i don't know.

Next weekend i'm moving, still in Madrid, but a different flat, and different flatmates. I must confess i am very excited about this. The flat is brand new, huge, we have enough space to host a lot of people, is not so far away from church, and although geographically is further from my job, by underground is closer. I think i will get on very well with my flatmates(or we will kill each other in a couple of months). We all work and in the same sector(IT), and i think i will be able to learn a couple of things from them.

Of course, you're all invited.