Average relationships vs. Punctual Gifts

Nearly two months since i moved to Madrid and i think i have to break my silence. Not to talk about Madrid and why i moved... just to write about thoughs that have come to my mind during this two months, and that in the last week have taken shape.

One good thing about Madrid, at least, is that here i have much more friends and relationships than in my hometown. That gives me the possibility to somehow experience and analize more people and situations that take place with them. Of course, sharing a flat helps. It's never easy... and probably sometimes it's really hard. At the same time, while analizing other people, sometimes i discover new things about myself. Some are good things... some are not so good... and most of the time... it's just what it is, not bad, nor good, just reality.

This last week i have been thinking about gifts, especial presents that people that loves you gives to you to show they do. Although i like presentes, i have never been able to appreciate them too much. I mean... to show the people that i appreciated it. You can give me a book that i have been looking for for two years... and i will only be able to say "thank you". Most of the people would start jumping, clapping hands, shouting their happiness,... i just said thank you and felt really bad for it. Tried to explain that i was really happy for that gift... and again, felt really bad for not being able to appreciate that present in a way that my friend could understand how grateful i was.

But reality is that althoug i can be thankful, and that i like gifts, i don't appreciate them much. At least i don't appreciate them as much as most of the people do. That has been something that i have known for a long time. Is all about the laguajes of love and all that stuff, my languaje is not gifts, bla, bla, bla... no problem. But this last week i have realiced, that it was not just that.

I have noticed that if i don't appreciate gifts it's because most of the people that give them to me, don't have an average good way of treating me. I think it's difficult to speak myself... What i mean is that i appreciate more if someone cooks for me 10 days in a month a normal meal, rather than if someone makes a huge supertasty dinner just once. I appreciate more someone that takes interest for me every week, rather than a puctual superdeep conversation once a year. Of course, with people that lives far away that's difficult. But now i am speaking about people in Madrid, about the people close to me.

Some like to show me their love for me with one punctual thing, really good thing, from time to time. Others like, maybe not to be so... excellent, but take the work of doing it many times. I have understood that i appreciate this last much more. I think that maybe is because i think i would like to be an all day everyday friend, not a once a month one... And probably with some people we are... with some others we can't, i don't know.

Just words.