Bus thoughs

So, here i am in the bus... on my trip from Madrid to Barcelona, rethinking and annalyzing all this days i have spent with my friends... from all over Spain to be true. So retaking my thoughs... we could sum up the weekend... as really good i think. Maybe a little boring, cause when everybody is resting... you finish tired of doing nothing, tired of being tired and resting...

So anyway, i have learnt that when you find someone kind of similar to yourself... being myself... is quite hard to get on well with him. Not because we don't like each other(i am speaking about myself), just because i think is quite hard to break the ice with another piece of ice. When you realize that... well... is funny... but you can't do anything... So it ends being a little bit sad.

I have also realized that somehow my childhood was traumatic. It seems thar everyone played to Mario videogame... everyone but me!!!:S They pass screen after screen saying, "oh how bad i am"... i think i couldn't pass any screen... And they remember all the tricks and things!!! How cand they??? I remember playing to Mario in one or two birthdays... of course i was as bad as today... but i can't remember anything... So now i understand why i am as i am. I was not a Mario freak, and that made a huge scar in my life...

We spent New Year's Eve in a house of a friend of a friend. More than 21 people there, it was cool, although i barely knew half of the people there... and i couldn't know very well the rest. But i think all of them were cool people. I liked it, is good to go to a place and see that people receive you as well as they can. You know... one smile, a nice word... all the things i can't do. Funny. Anyway, i also learnt that i offended a good friend some years ago. Is quite strange to realize how a word as simple as "lemonade" can harm. Anyway... i am finding that i spent half of my time harming the people i apreciate and love, and half of it asking them to forgive me...

I also focused a little bit more my thoughs about relationships, you know, boys, girls, and so on. I think talking with girls makes me think about that, and sometimes, just sometimes, i arrive to conclusions. Or maybe it was to observe my friend's first girlfriend... that was funny too.

Black is black

If you have read about the silence and all that i wrote some days ago, you may be able to deduce(is that english?), that lately i have been thinking a lot about people's tongue. About what they say and what they don't say. As christian i have also conclude that words and their meaning have a critic importance for us. At least they should have. In general i think that for humans words should have this critic importance, and that we have to know as well as we can their meaning, and when the meaning of one word is not clear... lets use more than one to make it. For christians i really think this importance should be bigger. First of all because our beliefs are transmitted through the Bible, wich is a compilation of words... the Word of God... and i think that is quite important to understand clearly what God is telling to humanity, what are you basing your life in.

But, there is always a "but", lately i have been thinking that somehow, human nature is to be liars. That's the conclusion that i have found to base why people swear. Is as if people usually lie... but when we come to a serious business, we swear, as if saying, "ok, usually i am a liar, but this word i am going to keep, to i swear by, bla, bla, bla, to bla bla bla, and bla". And usually this vows are very serious, and are taken in front of witnesses, so that if we say "black", everybody hears it, and if we try in two months, to change that black into grey, we can't... and if we do that our word, and our vow, will lose all its value forever.

So, somehow, christians, we don't like to swear, i think is because we all pretend that we never lie, (hahahahahaha:D). But more and more, i am finding christians that when they say black, two months later they pretend to have said grey. And then i ask myself, "why the f**k havent't you said grey from the first time?". It really pisses me off, to see that. And i don't mean someone that drops one opinion, and after some months, something in his life makes his opinion change. I think that is quite normal. He said black, and recognices it, but now he realises that it was not black, it was grey. That is ok. What i mean is people that said black, and after sometime, they pretend to have said grey, or yellow or blue... or at least to mean it. That is nonsense for me. Well... not son nonsense... i have found to reasons at least for this behaviour.

The first one is that people is simply stupid. They drop words without thinking. And aftersometime they realise that what they dropped so happily was not the truth. But their pride doesn't let them say, "hay, i was wrong". No... they pretend to have said something different, or to meant something different from what they said. This is the group of people that never thinks of their words, that can't control their tongue. I think that moreless we all are part of this group, at least i can be counted in it. Not always... but the one that has never spoken without thinking it first, can throw the first stone.

The second reason i have found why people says one thing and really means other, is because they are hypocriticals. They think blue... but they choose to say red instead. Because people will think better of them that way, or something like this. But usually this is the worst thing they can do, cause sooner or later actions speak louder than words... and they will not behave blue if they think red.

I think this last is the worst kind of word distorsion. Cause is a conscious way of lying. But sadly is the one that i am finding more in the church. That church of the people that are suppose not to lie. And i feel that is quite sad to find out of church atheists and people like them, unbelievers, that are more consequent with their beliefs, right or wrong, than christians. And well... how do we want people to believe and understand what we believe if we fail to do what we say?

Why is this? Well... as i wrote some monts ago i don't like to think about the evilness in people. Although i know it exists, and i know that lots of "christians" know perfectly, and sadly, what they mean, what they say, and how they behave. I also find worried how the distorssion of words is made by christian stupidness. People doesn't know what words mean!!! They think that white means blue, and blue grey!!! They don't read bible with a dictionary at hand!!! So most of the times when they find something that they don't understand... they use their imagination(some call their imagination "holy spirit"). They don't try to look in the dictionary what that strange word means. They don't ask wise men, or read wise men books, to study and reach the meaning God wanted to give to several words... They just suppose...

I believe that humans should be responsible for the words they dropp... and christians, somehow have got an even more important responsibility in this... But we are to lazy... How sad... how evil...


James 5:12
"But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by the heaven, nor by the earth, nor by any other oath: but let your yea be yea, and your nay, nay; that ye fall not under judgment. "

Por que los pingüinos.

Porque somos lentos, pero seguros.


Y aunque a veces no somos seguros y nos caemos, siempre lo hacemos con gracia.


Y aunque perdamos el paso siempre nos recuperamos.


Porque tenemos dos modos de desplazarnos: Modo trineo.


Y modo "ganstaz".


Porque somos unos cachondos.


Porque no nos dejamos mangonear.


Porque no sabemos lo que es el dolor.


Porque somos pacientes... pero todos tenemos un límite.


Porque cuando atacamos lo hacemos en grupo.


Porque no tenemos piernas encima de nuestros pies y nos da igual.


Porque protagonizamos pelis que hay que ver.


Porque en realidad si que volamos!!!



No aceptes imitaciones.


Pon un pingüino en tu vida.

Enjoy the Silence

Lately i have been watching how more and more society, and therefore church, hates the silence. At least the "new school" churches. Yesterday i went to a prayer meeting, and i think that when you tell someone you were in a prayer meeting, the idea that comes to mind is a group of peple in reverent quietness. That's the "old school" idea of prayer, and of church. But nowadays, the opposition of this ideas in protestan churches(and others), the freedom we want to preach, has taken us just to the opposite side. As awful as the continual silence is the continual noise. So yesterday i found myself praying, asking God for forgiveness for our horrible, terrible, awful praise. Because is not just that we sang badly... that is quite normal, none of us is Frank Sinatra... but somehow people can't be happy singing awfully... they have to scream, to shout how bad they sing. So we were screaming Jas' song, and at the same time i was thinking, "oh God forgive us for destroying such a nice song." And giving thanks to him for hearing not our voices but our hearts. Well... for sure He didn't hear my voice cause i couldn't sing with so much noise around me.

But this is not an exception. In most of churches silence is a tabu. When a preacher reads a verse imediately starts talking about it, and shooting more verses, and words about them. Without allowing the listeners to think what the verse says(and remember is suppose to be God's Word), or to think what he wants to explain. In praise it seems that we have to play all instruments all the time. I had a little discussion about this with some people from my church band. Is difficult to see a profesional band playing all the instruments at the same time with all their power. most of the time some of the instruments are quiet, or just making little details to complete a song. But in churches all instruments must be played, all the time, as complicated as the player cans. They have to show how good they are. The result usually is a horrible mixture os noises. The silence is a embarrasing thing.

But is a needed thing. At least i need it. I like the reverent silence i feel when i get into one of those old catholic, orthodox or old protestant churches. The peace that reigns inside those buildings. I like to stare at the sea just hearing the waves crashing against the cliffs... I like to walk in silence through the beach walk. I like to pray in silence and just concentrate in what i am saying. I like to think in silence about that friend that i miss, or that girl that i am in love. I like to be with a friend in silence, that probes that we don't need words to be friends, to communicate. It's funny how people get nervous when the silence reigns in a meeting. Can't we be for a moment in silence? Thinking how good is to be with that friend? Thinking what my nexts words will be? What i want to talk about with him? Instead of that most of the time we just say word after words, the important thing is not to be in silence... But I need silence!!!

And the reason why i need it is quite simple. The silence gives a reason to be to the noise. To the nice noises please, such as music. Because music without silence is nonsense and viceversa. I love music, and i love it because i can appreciate it, and the silence is what makes me appreciate it!!! I saw a friend a couple of weeks ago, and she hasen't got voice right now... and her silence made me appreciate my conversations with her, and i missed them even more than ever...

Silence makes us appreciate music, so let's don't understimate it.

About people and mice.

This couple of last months... well... have been a little bit strange i suppose that i am somehow still recovering myself from what people around me call "cultural shock". I don't know. What i know is that i have nearly lost all my lithuanian, and little by little i think i am also losing my english... And i can't permit that, so here i am trying to write not too wrongly in that languaje.

So this last months have been trying to probe one decission i made some years ago about how to live my life. And when everything turns wrong... i try to remember that decission, and somehow it makes me feel... more peaceful? i don't know... Sometimes i think i am just fooling myself to keep my eyes blind from reality.

The thing is that some years ago i read somewhere that is not a shame to be fooled or betrayed by your friends... what is a shame is not to trust in them. So till then, i am trying to live like that. Trusting my friends, or the people that at least, i consider my friend. Trusting in their love for me over everything else that could make them betray me, and even in such cases trying to think that there is a very good reason for their attitude. Of course... sometimes... i can't avoid think that they were not behaving the way that friends should. But... at the same time i think is not my problem. I just can try to be as best friend as i can, trust in them as much as i can... if they betray that trust... i can't feel ashamed anymore... is their problem, their shame.

Moreover, what has been probing that decission this last days has been also something about i read some years ago. It was something like... "never confuse elviness with incompetence". And sometimes i see people harming people and i just think, "ok, they are so stupid, son incompetent". And somehow, although i can't excuse their acts i can give reason for them. But sometimes... i can't see the incompetence... and i would like not to see evilness... so my thoughs about that people just turn to blank.

I don't know... too many things in my head... this entry is a mess. Sorry, and no pictures this time.