Changing perspective

About four months ago Dan and me were in Taco Bell, (the new "all christian" restaurant in Madrid), with David and Tyler. Both are missionaries in Madrid, from the states. Moreover David is what we can call a priest. His resident permission in Spain says so. He studied theology, so sometimes we call him "Reverendo" David.

Anyway, we were there and Dan and me were talking about how great it would be to have a more... rational bible study. Something more interactive, and somehow, intelectual thing, than what we had in church right now. Just gather in a flat together, with a piece of Bible to read, and try to talk about what God is trying to tell us in Bible. That way we can all share what we think God has teached us, and learn from each other. It's a give and take study.

The good thing is that David has studied. He can read ancient greek, so when we have doubts he can go to the original fountain (during the studies he has his greek new testament), and clear the languaje doubts we may have. Finally one thing i love about our gatherings is that we always finish trying to understand how to apply what Bible says to our daily lifes. Otherwise we would not be a group of believers trying to learn and understand God's will, but just a group of people that loves words and likes to argue about pieces of literature.

So... now that i have explain all this, i can explain why the title of the post... is like that. We have been studying Luke for about three months, and finally reached the half of the gospel(maybe a little bit more). And till now two big ideas have been appearing in almost all of our studies.

The first one is about the Kingdom of Heaven. Where is it? How is it? What do we know about it? What does it mean to us? It is supposed to be here, now, and at the same time it is still coming... so... somehow it hasen't arrived yet... but at the same time, it's here, now... again. And another important thing, we're supposed to belong to it. And that somehow should affect everything in our livings. Our minds should be focused in that key reality.

And when we do it... everything changes. Our perspective of life, world, people, work, problems... Suddenly, what seemed to be important it isn't anymore, and what looked to be a grain of sand in a beach becomes a big mountain. To be conscious of a bigger reality beyond this, and to live that consciousness... well... it changes everything. I suppose that's one part of what Jesus meant when He said he was making everything knew. Cause a new reality appears when you see everything through the glass of the Kingdom of Heaven. And you understand your life has a new meaning, your priorities change... everything is still the same, but your perspective is brand new.



The second thing that has been appearing lately in most of our studies is the question: "Who is Jesus?"
And this is a question that appears several times in Luke. People was wondering the answer, the king too, even the disciples. The answer to that question is something that gives sense to all the rest of the gospel, and sense to christianity. Most of the people recognice Jesus existed. A lot recognice him as a great moral master. Some even recognice that he was a prophet and that he died on the cross. And some of us even believe that he rose up from the death.

There have been a lot of "good" men in History. A lot of prophets of all religions. Believers could say that Jesus wasn't the only one who rose up from the death. So somehow human beings should stop focusing on what Jesus did. Because the difference between him and all the others are not his acts. He himself said his followers would do bigger things than him.

So in this second point what we have to change is our perspective on what he did. And this perspective can only be changed when the question of who he really was is well answered. Without than answer all His acts don't mean anything. With it, a whole new rality and comprehension can open our eyes, mind and heart.

Madrid 2.0

Eleven months ago i moved to Madrid. And next, weekend i am starting a new phase in this... i would say "horrible", but let's just say, "city without sea", that will fit. Anyway... i have spent eleven months here, and from my last decisions, it seems that i will spend, if God doesn't comeback before, the next eleven too.

I haven't wrote much in this last year... actually... i think this is my second post... Anyway... a lot of things have happened in this last months, so i'll try to make a little resume, so that i can read it later... and think about it.

I have continuing travelling, although it sucks that with the EU i can't have new stamps in my passport, i finally knew Switzerland and Chzec Republic. And went back to Poland, Lithuania and Latvia. And as i said in my last post, i'm still looking for a home. Next year travelling plans are still in the air. I have an invitation to finally go to the States, that really excites me. But my sis will go back to Poland, and maybe i will visit her again. Yesterday i was thinking with a friend to go back to Lithuania... just Lithuania, but he went even more crazy, and through of a road trip through all Europe... to Lithuania. That would be great... and knowing my experiences in road trips... we'll probably end in Lithuania... but only God knows how we would reach it.

My and my workmate, and friend, Dan, got fired in february. And both founf a job one month later. He's earning more, but not so happy, i am earning less, but learning a lot. So it looks pretty fair. Anyway, about myself, i prefer my new job. The atmosphere in the other job became a little bit strange, and to be real we didn't have much work, so we wew being payed for doing almost anything. In my new job, sometimes i miss a little bit more organization(but i think is something not so strange in the little spanish businesses), but at least i am learning a lot. Right now we don't have so much work(Madrid closes in august), but still i have things to do.

And my workmates are nice people. And my boss too.

So next weekend i'm moving. As i said, new flat. Bigger, much bigger, and new. With new flatmates, with whom i not just share a good friendship but also a couple of hobbies, and some dreams. I think that's the thing that most excites me about next academic course(yes, still thinking as a student).

I am also thinking about signing up in History, in the distance university... mmm... I should check this out this week... time is running out.

These last months i have also learnt a couple of things. Probably the most important one, at least is what i think. Is that despite what i like to think, i don't know everything. Moreover... i know very few things. That's hard for someone who has always been so proud of his own self confidence, and his mind clarity.

I also learnt to be careful when i am surrounded by friends, by a not hostile circle. That can make me feel too confortable, and i lose tension. And when i lose tension, somehow i lose control of me and the beast i have(and all have), inside. And that's not good... i got tired of asking for forgiveness to people... and that don't really value it.

... and i have learnt more things... but i think this is getting too deep... and personal.

Searching for home.

There have been ages since i last wrote here. The last time was when i still was in Madrid, living happily with my couple of roomies. Since then, some things have changed.
I changed my flatmates, during the summer, and somehow it has been a little traumatic experience. To have more than 4 people living in a flat that is still small for three, during one whole month can be hard, moreover if you're the only one working in it.

But anyway. I still had time to travel a bit. I went to Switzerland(Geneve), with one of my flatmates and his beautiful girlfriend. Nice country, nice city. I found it a bit simillar to my hometown, but with even less nightlife.

After that i went to Poland, to Wroclaw, not Warsaw, to visit my sister, who was making her erasmus there, and who will make her two years master there. We algo went to Prague, to visit what is called the most beautiful city in Europe. I must confess i think there's a lot of marketing in that quote. Of course, Prague is really amazing... but it would be hard for me to say that is the most beautiful. What i can say is that is the one with more tourists. I still haven't been in Rome... but i'm wondering if the amount of tourists is simillar to Prague.


After visiting Poland i realized how much i missed Lithuania and my friends there. So i planned a trip to Kaunas and Klaipeda to visit old friends, and remember nice memories. Jesús came with me in this trip(and i am still waiting for him to pass me the pictures). Tnis was a different trip from the others.

I remember when our plane was flying, i told Jesús i was going back to my second home. He told me, "well... third one". And i had to answer him that i would consider the Basque Country as my first home... but i still can't consider Madrid as my second home. For now, Madrid has been just a phase. I don't know if it will become a home for me... but for now it isn't. So, yes, i considered Lithuania as my second home.

And i speak in past, cause after the trip my mind changed a little bit. What i found in Lithuania was what i expected. Super nice people, cheap country, true christianity, hospitality,... But it was also something else. Or maybe... it was that something else that i missed. I still don't know what it was exactly, or maybe yes. But things were different. Of course Jesús came back completely amazed by the country and people there. But somehow, i think as i already knew all the things that usually amaze firstcomers, i was expecting something else of my visit. Or at least what i already had in my first stage there. I really don't know. Sometimes i think, "aha, this is what has changed, this is what i missed this time". Other times, i don't really know why somehow i was a little bit deceived by my visit,... i can't say what i was expecting from it, butfor sure was something else, or something different.


So after my comeback to Madrid, my conversation with Jesús came back to my mind. I still can't consider Madrid as my home. And somehow i couldn't consider Lithuania as my home either, (maybe that was what i expected? a home where it wasn't?). So during this year i have visited four different countries, and somehow i still feel as if i haven't found my place in this world.

I remember speaking with Jurgita about my travelling dreams... maybe i am willing to travel, just because i am willing to find a place to be,... and i need to search for it. I was also thinking that probably i will never find my 100% home in this life, that would match my beliefs... so i should not be so frustrated, but sometimes i am too human, and i am.

I still don't know where i will search my home next year. There's a possibility to comeback to Lithuania, with a different purpose this time. And also i'm thinking of finally getting out of Europe and go to the States. And i would love to go to Asia next Summer(i think that has been my "dream" for the last three summers). But, i don't know.

Next weekend i'm moving, still in Madrid, but a different flat, and different flatmates. I must confess i am very excited about this. The flat is brand new, huge, we have enough space to host a lot of people, is not so far away from church, and although geographically is further from my job, by underground is closer. I think i will get on very well with my flatmates(or we will kill each other in a couple of months). We all work and in the same sector(IT), and i think i will be able to learn a couple of things from them.

Of course, you're all invited.

I love you

A good friend sent me a comic book drawn by one of his friends. I haven't finished reading it, but till now the most impacting drawing has been this:




The translation goes moreless like this:

"I love you"
"Like the adults do?"
"No, truly."

This last two years i have heard a lot of adults speaking about love... and that drawing nearly broke my heart... sad but true.

Average relationships vs. Punctual Gifts

Nearly two months since i moved to Madrid and i think i have to break my silence. Not to talk about Madrid and why i moved... just to write about thoughs that have come to my mind during this two months, and that in the last week have taken shape.

One good thing about Madrid, at least, is that here i have much more friends and relationships than in my hometown. That gives me the possibility to somehow experience and analize more people and situations that take place with them. Of course, sharing a flat helps. It's never easy... and probably sometimes it's really hard. At the same time, while analizing other people, sometimes i discover new things about myself. Some are good things... some are not so good... and most of the time... it's just what it is, not bad, nor good, just reality.

This last week i have been thinking about gifts, especial presents that people that loves you gives to you to show they do. Although i like presentes, i have never been able to appreciate them too much. I mean... to show the people that i appreciated it. You can give me a book that i have been looking for for two years... and i will only be able to say "thank you". Most of the people would start jumping, clapping hands, shouting their happiness,... i just said thank you and felt really bad for it. Tried to explain that i was really happy for that gift... and again, felt really bad for not being able to appreciate that present in a way that my friend could understand how grateful i was.

But reality is that althoug i can be thankful, and that i like gifts, i don't appreciate them much. At least i don't appreciate them as much as most of the people do. That has been something that i have known for a long time. Is all about the laguajes of love and all that stuff, my languaje is not gifts, bla, bla, bla... no problem. But this last week i have realiced, that it was not just that.

I have noticed that if i don't appreciate gifts it's because most of the people that give them to me, don't have an average good way of treating me. I think it's difficult to speak myself... What i mean is that i appreciate more if someone cooks for me 10 days in a month a normal meal, rather than if someone makes a huge supertasty dinner just once. I appreciate more someone that takes interest for me every week, rather than a puctual superdeep conversation once a year. Of course, with people that lives far away that's difficult. But now i am speaking about people in Madrid, about the people close to me.

Some like to show me their love for me with one punctual thing, really good thing, from time to time. Others like, maybe not to be so... excellent, but take the work of doing it many times. I have understood that i appreciate this last much more. I think that maybe is because i think i would like to be an all day everyday friend, not a once a month one... And probably with some people we are... with some others we can't, i don't know.

Just words.

Charles Barkley

Probablemente la mayor boca de la NBA, y el tio además era bueno.

La altura está sobrevalorada: he jugado con muchos paquetes muy altos.”

“Creo que mi peso ideal es el peso en el que esté cuando estoy en la pista.”

“No me suicidaría. Soy una de mis personas favoritas.”

“Mientras Bird esté en la liga, seré el segundo peor defensor del baloncesto.”

“Pensaba que Bill Laimbeer es el tipo más despreciable y desagradable de todo el baloncesto… pero por otro lado, siempre lo respeté como jugador.”

Tras remontar un partido en el que llegaron a perder de veinte puntos: “Éste es un partido que, si lo pierdes, te vas a casa y le pegas a tu mujer y a tus hijos.”

Como contestación ante la gran cantidad de demandas interpuestas por asociaciones feministas tras esa última declaración: “Me meo en esas mujeres.”

“Iba a donar la cantidad de mis multas a los sin hogar: pero es que al final de la temporada iban a tener mejores casas que yo.”

Tras la victoria de Brent Barry en el concurso de mates del 94, fue el primero en sacar conclusiones: “Un blanco ganando el concurso de mates, la NBA está en decadencia. Necesitamos otra marcha del Millón de Hombres”.

“Soy la mejor persona que conozco.”

A Oliver Miller, compañero de equipo en los Suns con continuos problemas de sobrepeso: “¡Ni siquiera puedes saltar lo suficiente para tocar el aro a no ser que te pongan un Big mac en lo alto!”

Sobre su contratación por los Rockets: “Me acuerdo sentarme con los Rockets y decirles: “Sí, me voy a retirar”. Ellos dijeron: “Bueno, te daremos nueve millones de dólares”, a lo que respondí: “¿Tenéis un bolígrafo encima?”

“Hey, Stanley, serías un gran jugador si fueses capaz de decir dos palabras: estoy lleno.” (Hablando con el peso pesado Stanley Roberts).

Al retirarse: “Esto es justo lo que América necesita: otro negro sin trabajo.”

Sobre el contrato de Kevin Garnett: “Es un montón de pasta. Y lo está ganando un negro. Qué gran país es éste. Imagínate si supiese jugar.”

A Kenny Smith, compañero comentarista y ex-jugador: “Me gusta que los Celtics sean competitivos, porque era muy divertido ir al Boston Garden: te escupían, te tiraban cosas y hablaban de tu madre. Como si estuviese cenando en casa de Kenny.”

“La iba a denunciar por difamación de personalidad. Pero entonces me di cuenta de que no tengo personalidad.” (Sobre Tonya Harding, ex patinadora)

“¡Me encanta Nueva York: tengo una pistola!”

“Mi familia me criticó cuando dije que Bush sólo se preocupa de los ricos. Así que les recordé: “Eh, ¡que soy rico!””

“Si no ganara más de tres millones de dólares jugando al baloncesto, la gente correría en dirección contraria si me viese por la calle.”

Justo antes de su famosa carrera contra el árbitro Dick Bavetta: "No tengo nada contra la gente mayor; algún día quiero ser uno de ellos.”

Ernie Jonson, comentarista de la TNT: “¿Cuál es el problema de los Knicks en este momento?”Charles: “Que no son buenos.”

EJ: “Auburn es una muy buena universidad. Supongo que para graduarte allí realmente tuviste que trabajar muy duro y esforzarte al máximo… Charles: “20 puntos y 10 rebotes también te ayudan, no creas…”

EJ: “¿Te reconocieron en Dakota del Sur?” Charles: “Sí. Fue fácil porque yo era la única persona negra allí. Cuando me veían caminar por la calle decían: “Aquí viene otra vez”. Y cuando volví al año siguiente gritaban alucinados: “¡Ha vuelto, yujuuu!””

“Esta es mi agenda; Me levanto por la mañana, decido donde voy a ir a jugar al golf, y bebo cerveza todo el día.”

“He sido rico y he sido pobre. Ser rico es mejor.”

Sobre cómo Jerry Krause fue capaz de mantener su trabajo como General Manager de los Chicago Bulls: “Jerry debe tener fotos de la esposa de su jefe montándoselo con un mono”.

“Tengo una pregunta: ¿Alguna vez has visto a Gollum y Sam Cassell juntos en el mismo sitio?”

“Al Gore es un perdedor. Pero tan sólo es el segundo mayor perdedor de Washington. Los Wizards son los mayores perdedores en Washington.”

Antes de enfrentarse a Cuba en los Juegos Olímpicos de Barcelona ´92: ¿Qué que sé sobre Cuba? Pues que el país lo gobierna un andrajoso que fuma puros… eso es todo lo que sé.”

Sobre cómo Michael Jordan debía afrontar los agobios de la fama: “Contrata guardaespaldas. O haz como yo; golpea a unas cuantas personas y dales 10000$.”

“En mi ropa interior no viene la talla. Simplemente hay una etiqueta que dice: ENORME.”

Al ex-jugador y compañero comentarista Reggie Miller: “Reggie era el extra de Brokeback Mountain.”

“¿Tengo un problema con el juego? Sí, tengo un problema con el juego. Pero realmente no es un problema... porque yo me lo puedo permitir.”

Charles: “¿Sabes cuál va a ser un equipo interesante este año? Los Utah Jazz.”KS: “¿Interesante desde un punto de vista positivo o desde uno negativo? Charles: “Todavía no lo sé.”

Durante las finales de la NBA, Ernie Jonhson señala a un cartel en el que se lee: “Barkley = Tonto, Van Gundy = Más tonto.” Charles: “Hey, al menos ese tío sabe quien soy. Yo no tengo ni idea de quien coño es él.”

"El sexo y el golf son las únicas cosas en las que aun siendo malo en ello, puedes pasar un rato agradable.”

"Sabes que todo se ha ido a la mierda cuando el mejor rapero es blanco y el mejor golfista negro.”

Kenny Smith: “Se puede ver que Voshon Lenard ha estado un tiempo lesionado porque ha ganado un poco de peso.” Charles: “¿Un poco de peso? ¿Le llamas a eso un poco de peso? Eso es como decir que lo del Titanic fue un pequeño accidente marítimo. Vamos hombre, si creo que usa la misma talla de calzoncillos que yo.”

Se supone que debemos parar de comer cuando él lo haga? ¿Y qué ocurre si seguimos teniendo hambre? Joder, puede que el haya picoteado algo antes de venir a comer.” (Sobre las normas de protocolo antes de comer con Rainiero en el Palacio Real de Montecarlo.)

“Pese a ser un rookie Christian Laettner va a ser el hombre más fuerte de la NBA la próxima temporada. Se está pasando el verano llevando las maletas de 12 tíos.” (Laettner era el único jugador universitario del Dream Team del 92).

Imagination and filling equations

This last two weeks i have been wondering about how complicated can relationships be. Moreover when our own imagination comes into the equation. I mean, relationships are never easy. I understand very well the affirmation a famous philosopher did, (can't remember is he was Freud or Froyd), "hell are the others". And somehow he had part of reason.

Relationships are difficult, we have somehow to die to ourselfes, and try to understand the others. Give ourselfes to them, understand them, and fight against our own selfish desires to try to make their life a little bit better. I think this is part of what christians preach when we say that we have to "kill our flesh". But we are humans, and to fight against our instinct is really difficult. Still, despite this "animal" instinct, the property of being human also gives us the chance to choose. And that option becomes much easier when you choose to give yourself to someone that has also given itself to you.

What i mean is that when you have a friend that has proved you how much he loves you, is much easier to love him back. Is part of our human trader mind. Give something in exchange for something... love for love.

And somehow, most of the times this is what we expect of a relationship. To take back as much as we are giving. And when we receive more, we naturally try to give back... is all about filling the equation. I suppose that like the ancient scientists we are afraid of emptiness.

So, till now the situation was complicated but we could afford it. It's very mathemathical, just an equation and we have to continually balance it, not as difficult as we supposed. But, sometimes, in some cases everytime, imagination plays with our well balanced equation. And then, things get really complicated... and the only ones to blame are ourselfes.

What i mean... is that a lot of times our mind plays tricks on us. Makes us think that that person who we love so much feels the same about us(and i am not talking about romantic relationships). Once reality hits you in your face, and you realize that when you though you had a friend in someone and you just had a "known"... it feels bad. You feel fooled. You feel stupid. You want to go to that person and tell him how much he has deceived you. How much he has hurt you. But the real thing, is you're the only one to blame. Probably he did not do anything to make you think he considered you a friend... but you did, and your imagination made you think he felt the same about you. And now the equation is unbalanced and you feel bad about that person, but you know he has no fault. So what now???

Festivals

This summer i went to a couple of festivals. The well known Jazzaldia and the Festival Gospel Castellón. Both were quite good, although i believe last's years Jazzaldia was better... more jazzy than this one, wich most of the music was good... but i would not call it jazz.

Anyway, one band in each festival impacted me. In the jazz one an italian duo called musica nuda, (check the videos, much better than the tracks). It was an strange duo, a girl singing and a double bass player. Just that, so at first sight it may look a little bit boring. But they were italians... and this race has some kind of charm, ideal for the stage. The concert was really funny, and both musicians were awesome.

In the Gospel the band that i liked most was Sarah Kelly's, really good american rock. If you like Alanis, Sheryl, and so on... this sounds better, at least live. And her testimony is... well... impacting.

Teenagers, basketball and books.

A lot of friends have accused me of liking teenagers too much. And well... i have to confess it, it's true. Some weeks ago an american team came to my town, and i ejoyed very much the time i spent with them. Now i am pretty sure that one of the main reasons of this was that most of them were teenagers.

But there is a logic reason why i like so much to spend time with them. And this doesn't mean i just enjoy my time when i am in their company. I also enjoy time spent with other people. But what i have discovered about teenagers is that their lack of maturity helps them not to take life so seriously. That means that when i start saying silly things without thinking about them before opening my mouth... they don't get upset!!!

They just think that is one more silly thing in life they don't have to take so seriously... laugh... and continue with their lifes without judging me because of that little moment of madness. Older people can't do that. They get upset with anything silly that i say, take it seriously, think about it, and judge me. There are some close friends with whom i can say silly things and nothing happens. This ones have also the advantage that i can talk about more serious things knowing they are enough mature to advice me. Probably with them i can be myself more that with anybody else.

Then it comes basketball... wich i am missing this summer cause i can just play once every two weeks. What i like about it is... well... because i am not as bad as playing football. That's one reason. The other reason why i always look foward for the next day when i'll play basketball, apart from meeting those nice guys i have mentioned before in my blog, are the concrete rules.

Basketball is easy. Has concrete and simple rules. You have to throw the orange ball trough the ring. You can't travel more than two steps without bouncing, etc... Is a known rectangular world, no surprises. You don't have to think more than to whom you will pass or when you will shoot. The options are finite. You have no more than 4 possibilities to pass... I like that... not to think, just play... time flows... while you're in that tiny little world, enjoying the game.

Books are also a rectangular world. But they permit me to be anyone... in anyworld. Probably that's one reason i like sci-fi books so much. They not just aloud me to be anyone at anytime... anywhere in this world. They also make me wonder what would be to live in other dimensions, planets, worlds... When i'm reading this world stays behind, while my mind can travel free...


Teenagers, basketball and books have always been like an emotional vaccation... some kind of places where i feel more free... where i feel more like being myself... or like being what i would like to be, how i would like to be.

My face/Mi cara

So, in ten days my friend Fran and his supernice girlfriend Ana Amelia are getting married. And thanks to Fran i will attend it... but... i have to decide what to do with my face... my beard. After thinking a little bit, and asking a friend who said that beard makes us more interesting(i suppose to women), i have decided to make a questionary(on the right side of the blog).

Help me to solve this dilemma!!!

En diez dias mi amigo Fran se casa con su guapisima novia, Ana amelia. Gracias a Fran podré asistir a la boda... pero... tengo que decidir que hacer con mi cara... mi barba. Después de pensarlo un poco, y de preguntarle a una amiga que me respondió que los tios somos mas interesantes con barba(para las mujeres espero), he decidido hacer una encuesta(en la parte derecha del blog).

Ayudadme a resolver mi dilema!!!

My Worlds

Last month i have been thinking about the different worlds that i have lived in, or that i am living in right now. Two weeks ago a team from Tulsa, Oklahoma, came to my city, just to encourage the newest church in it, and try to spread the gospel a little more in Spain. I am not going to speak about what i think of what they did and so on. Just that i enjoyed very much the time i spent with them. Somehow they where a breeze of fresh air for me. A whole weekend speaking in english again, to feel that you're not part of the city, but a tourist. To feel the people staring and you cause you're surroundeb by 20 blonde noisy teenagers screaming and running. And without even caring about it. They made me remember my happy days walking around Europe, getting out of my daily routine, and feeling part of something more that what i am here in my hometown. I know that is just an illusion, but sometimes it feels good to live one, in helps me to get my emotions on vaccations.



Two weeks before this nice americans came here i had a "club day". This means that the people from the club in wich i play gather to play all morning. And later go to the beer festival, and have sausages and beer. I think basketball is the most kind side of my less christian life. This life sometimes is hard cause you can't never be absolutely yourself. Or maybe you can, but sometimes you can't share all of it with others, just because you're in a different wave from them. But anyway... as i have said they are the kind side of it all. I really enjoy their company, their jokes(although sometimes are a little bit weird), and their friendship. I really love those guys, and sometimes it breaks my heart to think about the lifes they're living, that is not bad at all... but i really believe could be better.

This last weekend i went to ContraCorriente, the biggest christian youth festival(or that's what i want to think), in Spain. I think that my main motivation for continuing going to it is just to meet some friends. Well... not some, but a lot of them. And they are those kind of friends with whom you can really be yourself fully. I know if i can count on someone(apart from God and my family), they are the ones. The hard thing is that i can just meet some of them once every one or two years... and coming back home, where they are not, is hard. But so it's life. This is the world i would like to live each day, and it's the most unreachable one.

Purchuggalll

More than a week has passed since we came back from our lighting trip to Lisbon, but i have been busy, i am indeed, but the memory of my thesis... is too boring and sometimes discouraging, so let's pour my opinions about Portugal now...

So portugese people is moreless what i expected. Small, brown, and full of hair. But really nice people. I couldn't met many of them cause Postugal is strangely invaded by spaniards, but the few i met were really nice, spoke softly(i like how portugese speak), and were very kind. I don't think we're so kind with french... so maybe between Spain and Portugal there is not this ancient hate that exists between french and spanish. The guy in charge of the hostel even called me "brother". Maybe he was christian? Probably not...

Anyway, people was nice. The country, from my humble point of view, not so much. Well... it was nice, but i don't really liked it. Talking with my uncle yesterday he described perfectly Lisbon with one word, "decadence". He said that city has a permanent decadent ambient. And it's true. Is not that is not rich, (not as much as Madrid or Barcelona, but not poor), or that is an old city, or somethig like that. Is that there is a decadent ambient that surprised me. More if we think that since Portugal went into EU, like Spain, it has suffered a really big economical growth. But when you go to Lisbon, at least my sensation was the opposite.

My uncle said that he loves that kind of ambient... i am not sure that i liked it. Anyway, i think my opinion was also based on the fact that we went there with a car. And driving in Lisbon is just crazy. Small streets, up and down, trams everywhere, not traffic lights... and drivers honking(that's american stuff i think) all the time. Really crazy. If you ever go, be sure not to do it by car. Or if you do it, park it somewhere and forget it all the time you spend there.

And apart from all that... Portugal is moreless like Spain. Nice coasts, nice palaces, good food,... more chaos, more silence. Strange combination. One of those countries were you realize how scandalous spaniards are.

Team

So this year, after coming back from my european course, i joined my "all life" team. The basketball team from my neighbourhood. The difference this year is that some of the player with whom i was playing where the ones i used to train... about 5 or 6 years ago... or more. Now they have grown up. So i just joined them to play sometimes along the week. Not games, just train with them. I didn't want to compromise my saturdays keeping somebody who could play always from doing it.

But after some months, reality is that i am not only playing with them during the week... but also training them, going to their games as coach... And also training a junior team, with one of my senior teammate(too much mmmmms in that word? Drift i need you).

So anyway, there, up in the picture is the junior team that i train. From left to right and up and down: evidently me, Dani, his cousin Javi, Aitor, Iker(his brother and my teamate), Papa(i really don't know his real name), Gotxon(that was the first time i saw him, smart guy he came for the photo), and Valencia.
They are very few, but usually we count with some more players from the category the club has under them.



So they are the bad team, they are really bad, believe me. And the older ones are suppose to be good players. But reality is that as a trainer i have just won two matches with the olders. And all of them with the juniors. The first reason for that is that the juniors, i want to believe, are more serious than the seniors. (The videos are an example of that, the senior team dining.)

The other reason is that the juniors are so bad, and so innocent playing that they don't really have up side downs, like most teams have, during a game. It doesn't matter if the other team plays good or not, they moreless play the same way all the game. And the other team(and last weekend also their parents), finishes frustrated and throws the match to the garbage bin. I like the constant way they have got to play. Is a pity they are so bad, but their mentality is one of the bests i have ever seen in a team trained by me.



The seniors are something different. Much better players, but a really bad team. They don't know how to pass the ball. And that, doesn't matter what they say, is the most important thing for a team that plays basketball. Not the shoot, not the bounce, the pass. And that is something they don't do. Moreover i don't know how they do it... well i know... but we always end every game arguing one with each other... So in general they are all nice people... but... they are some viruses in the team... that don't just make it not work as a team, but also sometimes create a rare ambient.

Anyway... there was no virus in the dinner we had in a "sidreria"... wich is a... typical basque restaurant. Not high "cuicine", but home made... and really expensive. This time we had the luck of meeting a "hen night" or "bachlorette party" or whatever it is called the last party a bride has before her wedding(if that is not correct this time is Tere and Keilah's fault). So the table next to ours was full of mad girls looking for funny guys. And i must recognice that some of my teammates are really funny. The result is in the videos.

Filling the heart

I have always liked that image. Some people think that is a little bit gore... but com'on i am the guy who can't watch "House" or "Grey's Anatomy" cause gets sick when they start talking, and sometimes showing, all that medical stuff... I know better than you what is gore, and that picture isn't.

So i have always liked it, and i think it's because i can feel identified with it from time to time. I mean that from time to time i feel like i have wasted all that's left in me, in my heart, and feel really empty, with the need of filling it up again. I suppose that's something quite normal. If you have lived your day fully, you should feel a little bit empty. Not just tired, but also empty, as if you have given all that was inside of you. And you need to fill your deposit again, because tomorrow a new days awaits... and you would like to live it as fully as today.

But sometimes i feel like my deposit is not enough to arrive to the end of the day. Someone comes to me and asks me a little bit of my fuel cause he has run out of it... and... crap, i am empty, i have nothing else to give. I usually feel a little bit guilty about this. Probably because i don't know how i always achieve to finish my day, to arrive to the goal. But somehow i think that maybe my incapability to give someonelse a little bit of my energy during my trip might make him stay for a long time stopped at the side of the road, waiting for someone with a heart more filled than mine to be a little bit more generous than me.

Probably my problem is that sometimes i am conscious of my limits. You know... i still have energy in me... but is just for me. Is the energy that i need to end my day, if i give it away, even to a beloved one, the one who is going to be lost in the middle of nowhere is going to be me. I suppose that that has got just one name, selfishness. And at the same time lack of trust. Trust that when i am going to be completely empty someone will come and fill me again. I suppose that i have never liked to depend on no one... but i still think my life would be better, if i would accept to empty my heart more usually, and therefore accept to fill it again.

Welcome!!!

Some have to leave, and others arrive. I think that's life. That cute thing you see between a couple of cheeks is called Morgan Grace and is the first baby of one of my mates(my God, he is even younger than me!!!:S)

Anyway... good news have to be spread even more widely than the bad ones. And the arrival of Morgan Grace Smith, and the good helth of her mum, are good news. So.. welcome to the world!!!

One talker aping two.

I usually never quote texts in my blog, but i found this poem in a book i was reading. Is a kind of answer the poet gives to those that think that when we, christians, pray, we make the part of the prayer, and also, the part of the answer. I like very much the last two verses:

They tell me, Lord, that when I seem
To be in speech with you,
Since but one voice is heard, it’s all a dream,
One talker aping two.

Sometimes it is, yet not as they
Conceive it. Rather, I
Seek in myself the things I hoped to say
But lo!, my springs are dry.

Then, seeing me empty, you forsake
The listener’s role and through
My dumb lips breathe and into utterance wake
The thoughts I never knew.

And thus you neither need reply
Nor can; thus, while we seem
Two talkers, thou art One forever, and I
No dreamer, but thy dream.

Easter

So, Easter came, and Easter went... And after vaccations, i can make a little resume of my free week. My first one from the working point of view. Ok, so Easter started with the blood of passion painting my finger. Yes, here in Spain is costume, at least in the south to hurt yourself to ask God for forgiveness... so i hurt myself... just playing basketball... and of course it was not on purpose. After breaking my hand, almost all my fingers, and now this, i can say it, basketball is an extreme sport!!!



But, i cheered up that same night, in the concert to wich Javi had invited me. Deke Dickerson was the name of the band... well... it was the name of the guy... whose band played. Band... they were a trio. Rockabilly or rock and roll music to be more concrete. Simply awesome... they all sang, they switched instruments, double bass included, and was a very funny concert. "Deke" Dickerson, "Crazy" Joe, and "Sugar Balls", AKA, in that concert, as "Cojounes de Asucar". Really good and funny(and free) concert. Here's a little video... not good sound, but just to make you taste how funny the concert was...



Two days later we headed to Hossegor, to a capitalist party!!! Yes, lots of nice clothing brands have their stocks and factories in that french village. And once a year, on easter, they make a huge outlet park. So there we went. 5 hours of queue in the Carhartt shop had their wage, and now i have two new jackets, four trousers, two shirts, a present, and two hats more. Ah, and five pair of socks. Curious day... you can save a lot of money in clothes if you like the expensive brands, and go there with the idea of not buying clothes again till next year. And that was my idea.



That same nigh we spoke with Ainara, living in the states for... 6 months now? Don't really know. Anyway... my new iTouch is on the way. I know, i know...why not an iPhone? The ones who know me well noe the reason, i'm not going to spend 100$ more for a thing that i don't like as a mobile phone is.



So the next day we went to Eibar. To see my beloved friends in one more concert. I haden't seen them since Becca's wedding in September, so it was really nice to reunite with them, and to have a nice conversation with John. And... how could i forget, to confirm that this year i will probably go to ContraCorriente... i don't want to miss Blindside.



And after that... calm... and then the storm. Maria came from Barcelona with her boyfriend and Xabi, and we went to face the sea. It is really nice this days. Last week it broke the road, some benches, a market, two clubs, one massage centre, and left us with nearly no beach. But the waves were awesome, they still are, although i think it will be difficult to see again such amount of destruction.

Party!!!

Some months ago i found this nice drawing in the XKCD webcomic(see my links list). And well... for many people probably such situation is quite sad. To be in a loud party, dreaming with being with your laptop somewhere else. But i felt quite identificated with it. In LT, i had the opportunity to feel like that in several parties. The good side of the story is that i didn't need to dream much. When i got bored of drunk people looking for more drinks or sex, i just left. (Funny that someone described me as a party boy... what would spaniards think of that description of myself?)

But anyway... sometimes parties can be fun, at least at the beginning. And you never know when you will find someone that is also dreaming with leaving it. I spent 10 months of parties without finding it... but who knows? Maybe is just a matter of continue looking.

Now my brother is in Lisbon, Portugal. And was far as i know he is trying to avoid parties, probably because of the same reason why i left them a year ago. I hope he finally finds the good point of going to parties... and have the wisdom to leave them when he starts dreaming with other things.

Harmonica is now played in Heaven

Yesterday Paco died. I though that i had to write something about it, just because is a too much serious thing, and a too beloved friend to let his goodbye pass without saying a word. It would have been strange to write something in my blog after his depart, without naming him.

So i think is better to do it now rather than in two weeks. Apart from that, what can someone say in such situation? Yesterday i talked with several friends, and even phone others... and in all cases the reaction was silence, there's nothing left to say, he has gone, and we can't do anything about it.

But, thinking coldly, and that is something that i don't know why i am good at, there are at least three things that confort me.

The first is that i really bealieve that this is just a "see you" rather than a "good-bye". And that in some time, only God knows how long is it going to take me, i will meet him again, and we will just continue making bigger the list of good moments i have had the privilege to share with him... making it bigger for all eternity, that sounds cool.

The second thing is that i don't believe in free christian deads. I believe that somehow, somewhere, sometime, God will use this tricky situation for His glory... i think Paco would be glad to know that. At least i hope that when i die, my death means something good for someone.

The third thing that makes me happy, is to think the huge privilege that God has gifted me meeting Paco. A good friend has left, but at least i have known him, and that is something to be happy with, i can just say "thank you God, thank you Paco".

Although that it's not his best picture, i know that he loved it... i can also imagine, that maybe that is what he is doing now in Heaven... the other options are, playing football with Jesus, and complaining that He doesn't defend enough, or making the Father taste a little bit of his super politically incorrect humour. I will miss him a lot while i await to join him.

Some pics...

I am following Ryan's example... maybe this is funny.

1) Answer the questions below.

2) Take each answer and type it into Photobucket (www.photobucket.com) or the google image search.

3) Take any picture from the first page of results and post.

4) Don't explain, it's funnier that way!

The age you will be on your next birthday:

A place you’d like to travel:

Your favorite food:

Your favorite animal:

The town in which you were born:

Your favorite color:

The town in which you live:

The name of your pets:

Your name:

Your last name:

A bad habit of yours:

Your first job:

Your favorite kind of music:

Your crush/ love:

What car do you drive:

St. Valentine's day

I think i have to dedicate this post to all my nice friends with someone to tell "i love you" in this special day:

I think the rest of us will understand our situation when we see the real aspect of Cupid:

But anyway...