Changing perspective

About four months ago Dan and me were in Taco Bell, (the new "all christian" restaurant in Madrid), with David and Tyler. Both are missionaries in Madrid, from the states. Moreover David is what we can call a priest. His resident permission in Spain says so. He studied theology, so sometimes we call him "Reverendo" David.

Anyway, we were there and Dan and me were talking about how great it would be to have a more... rational bible study. Something more interactive, and somehow, intelectual thing, than what we had in church right now. Just gather in a flat together, with a piece of Bible to read, and try to talk about what God is trying to tell us in Bible. That way we can all share what we think God has teached us, and learn from each other. It's a give and take study.

The good thing is that David has studied. He can read ancient greek, so when we have doubts he can go to the original fountain (during the studies he has his greek new testament), and clear the languaje doubts we may have. Finally one thing i love about our gatherings is that we always finish trying to understand how to apply what Bible says to our daily lifes. Otherwise we would not be a group of believers trying to learn and understand God's will, but just a group of people that loves words and likes to argue about pieces of literature.

So... now that i have explain all this, i can explain why the title of the post... is like that. We have been studying Luke for about three months, and finally reached the half of the gospel(maybe a little bit more). And till now two big ideas have been appearing in almost all of our studies.

The first one is about the Kingdom of Heaven. Where is it? How is it? What do we know about it? What does it mean to us? It is supposed to be here, now, and at the same time it is still coming... so... somehow it hasen't arrived yet... but at the same time, it's here, now... again. And another important thing, we're supposed to belong to it. And that somehow should affect everything in our livings. Our minds should be focused in that key reality.

And when we do it... everything changes. Our perspective of life, world, people, work, problems... Suddenly, what seemed to be important it isn't anymore, and what looked to be a grain of sand in a beach becomes a big mountain. To be conscious of a bigger reality beyond this, and to live that consciousness... well... it changes everything. I suppose that's one part of what Jesus meant when He said he was making everything knew. Cause a new reality appears when you see everything through the glass of the Kingdom of Heaven. And you understand your life has a new meaning, your priorities change... everything is still the same, but your perspective is brand new.



The second thing that has been appearing lately in most of our studies is the question: "Who is Jesus?"
And this is a question that appears several times in Luke. People was wondering the answer, the king too, even the disciples. The answer to that question is something that gives sense to all the rest of the gospel, and sense to christianity. Most of the people recognice Jesus existed. A lot recognice him as a great moral master. Some even recognice that he was a prophet and that he died on the cross. And some of us even believe that he rose up from the death.

There have been a lot of "good" men in History. A lot of prophets of all religions. Believers could say that Jesus wasn't the only one who rose up from the death. So somehow human beings should stop focusing on what Jesus did. Because the difference between him and all the others are not his acts. He himself said his followers would do bigger things than him.

So in this second point what we have to change is our perspective on what he did. And this perspective can only be changed when the question of who he really was is well answered. Without than answer all His acts don't mean anything. With it, a whole new rality and comprehension can open our eyes, mind and heart.

Madrid 2.0

Eleven months ago i moved to Madrid. And next, weekend i am starting a new phase in this... i would say "horrible", but let's just say, "city without sea", that will fit. Anyway... i have spent eleven months here, and from my last decisions, it seems that i will spend, if God doesn't comeback before, the next eleven too.

I haven't wrote much in this last year... actually... i think this is my second post... Anyway... a lot of things have happened in this last months, so i'll try to make a little resume, so that i can read it later... and think about it.

I have continuing travelling, although it sucks that with the EU i can't have new stamps in my passport, i finally knew Switzerland and Chzec Republic. And went back to Poland, Lithuania and Latvia. And as i said in my last post, i'm still looking for a home. Next year travelling plans are still in the air. I have an invitation to finally go to the States, that really excites me. But my sis will go back to Poland, and maybe i will visit her again. Yesterday i was thinking with a friend to go back to Lithuania... just Lithuania, but he went even more crazy, and through of a road trip through all Europe... to Lithuania. That would be great... and knowing my experiences in road trips... we'll probably end in Lithuania... but only God knows how we would reach it.

My and my workmate, and friend, Dan, got fired in february. And both founf a job one month later. He's earning more, but not so happy, i am earning less, but learning a lot. So it looks pretty fair. Anyway, about myself, i prefer my new job. The atmosphere in the other job became a little bit strange, and to be real we didn't have much work, so we wew being payed for doing almost anything. In my new job, sometimes i miss a little bit more organization(but i think is something not so strange in the little spanish businesses), but at least i am learning a lot. Right now we don't have so much work(Madrid closes in august), but still i have things to do.

And my workmates are nice people. And my boss too.

So next weekend i'm moving. As i said, new flat. Bigger, much bigger, and new. With new flatmates, with whom i not just share a good friendship but also a couple of hobbies, and some dreams. I think that's the thing that most excites me about next academic course(yes, still thinking as a student).

I am also thinking about signing up in History, in the distance university... mmm... I should check this out this week... time is running out.

These last months i have also learnt a couple of things. Probably the most important one, at least is what i think. Is that despite what i like to think, i don't know everything. Moreover... i know very few things. That's hard for someone who has always been so proud of his own self confidence, and his mind clarity.

I also learnt to be careful when i am surrounded by friends, by a not hostile circle. That can make me feel too confortable, and i lose tension. And when i lose tension, somehow i lose control of me and the beast i have(and all have), inside. And that's not good... i got tired of asking for forgiveness to people... and that don't really value it.

... and i have learnt more things... but i think this is getting too deep... and personal.

Searching for home.

There have been ages since i last wrote here. The last time was when i still was in Madrid, living happily with my couple of roomies. Since then, some things have changed.
I changed my flatmates, during the summer, and somehow it has been a little traumatic experience. To have more than 4 people living in a flat that is still small for three, during one whole month can be hard, moreover if you're the only one working in it.

But anyway. I still had time to travel a bit. I went to Switzerland(Geneve), with one of my flatmates and his beautiful girlfriend. Nice country, nice city. I found it a bit simillar to my hometown, but with even less nightlife.

After that i went to Poland, to Wroclaw, not Warsaw, to visit my sister, who was making her erasmus there, and who will make her two years master there. We algo went to Prague, to visit what is called the most beautiful city in Europe. I must confess i think there's a lot of marketing in that quote. Of course, Prague is really amazing... but it would be hard for me to say that is the most beautiful. What i can say is that is the one with more tourists. I still haven't been in Rome... but i'm wondering if the amount of tourists is simillar to Prague.


After visiting Poland i realized how much i missed Lithuania and my friends there. So i planned a trip to Kaunas and Klaipeda to visit old friends, and remember nice memories. Jesús came with me in this trip(and i am still waiting for him to pass me the pictures). Tnis was a different trip from the others.

I remember when our plane was flying, i told Jesús i was going back to my second home. He told me, "well... third one". And i had to answer him that i would consider the Basque Country as my first home... but i still can't consider Madrid as my second home. For now, Madrid has been just a phase. I don't know if it will become a home for me... but for now it isn't. So, yes, i considered Lithuania as my second home.

And i speak in past, cause after the trip my mind changed a little bit. What i found in Lithuania was what i expected. Super nice people, cheap country, true christianity, hospitality,... But it was also something else. Or maybe... it was that something else that i missed. I still don't know what it was exactly, or maybe yes. But things were different. Of course Jesús came back completely amazed by the country and people there. But somehow, i think as i already knew all the things that usually amaze firstcomers, i was expecting something else of my visit. Or at least what i already had in my first stage there. I really don't know. Sometimes i think, "aha, this is what has changed, this is what i missed this time". Other times, i don't really know why somehow i was a little bit deceived by my visit,... i can't say what i was expecting from it, butfor sure was something else, or something different.


So after my comeback to Madrid, my conversation with Jesús came back to my mind. I still can't consider Madrid as my home. And somehow i couldn't consider Lithuania as my home either, (maybe that was what i expected? a home where it wasn't?). So during this year i have visited four different countries, and somehow i still feel as if i haven't found my place in this world.

I remember speaking with Jurgita about my travelling dreams... maybe i am willing to travel, just because i am willing to find a place to be,... and i need to search for it. I was also thinking that probably i will never find my 100% home in this life, that would match my beliefs... so i should not be so frustrated, but sometimes i am too human, and i am.

I still don't know where i will search my home next year. There's a possibility to comeback to Lithuania, with a different purpose this time. And also i'm thinking of finally getting out of Europe and go to the States. And i would love to go to Asia next Summer(i think that has been my "dream" for the last three summers). But, i don't know.

Next weekend i'm moving, still in Madrid, but a different flat, and different flatmates. I must confess i am very excited about this. The flat is brand new, huge, we have enough space to host a lot of people, is not so far away from church, and although geographically is further from my job, by underground is closer. I think i will get on very well with my flatmates(or we will kill each other in a couple of months). We all work and in the same sector(IT), and i think i will be able to learn a couple of things from them.

Of course, you're all invited.

I love you

A good friend sent me a comic book drawn by one of his friends. I haven't finished reading it, but till now the most impacting drawing has been this:




The translation goes moreless like this:

"I love you"
"Like the adults do?"
"No, truly."

This last two years i have heard a lot of adults speaking about love... and that drawing nearly broke my heart... sad but true.

Average relationships vs. Punctual Gifts

Nearly two months since i moved to Madrid and i think i have to break my silence. Not to talk about Madrid and why i moved... just to write about thoughs that have come to my mind during this two months, and that in the last week have taken shape.

One good thing about Madrid, at least, is that here i have much more friends and relationships than in my hometown. That gives me the possibility to somehow experience and analize more people and situations that take place with them. Of course, sharing a flat helps. It's never easy... and probably sometimes it's really hard. At the same time, while analizing other people, sometimes i discover new things about myself. Some are good things... some are not so good... and most of the time... it's just what it is, not bad, nor good, just reality.

This last week i have been thinking about gifts, especial presents that people that loves you gives to you to show they do. Although i like presentes, i have never been able to appreciate them too much. I mean... to show the people that i appreciated it. You can give me a book that i have been looking for for two years... and i will only be able to say "thank you". Most of the people would start jumping, clapping hands, shouting their happiness,... i just said thank you and felt really bad for it. Tried to explain that i was really happy for that gift... and again, felt really bad for not being able to appreciate that present in a way that my friend could understand how grateful i was.

But reality is that althoug i can be thankful, and that i like gifts, i don't appreciate them much. At least i don't appreciate them as much as most of the people do. That has been something that i have known for a long time. Is all about the laguajes of love and all that stuff, my languaje is not gifts, bla, bla, bla... no problem. But this last week i have realiced, that it was not just that.

I have noticed that if i don't appreciate gifts it's because most of the people that give them to me, don't have an average good way of treating me. I think it's difficult to speak myself... What i mean is that i appreciate more if someone cooks for me 10 days in a month a normal meal, rather than if someone makes a huge supertasty dinner just once. I appreciate more someone that takes interest for me every week, rather than a puctual superdeep conversation once a year. Of course, with people that lives far away that's difficult. But now i am speaking about people in Madrid, about the people close to me.

Some like to show me their love for me with one punctual thing, really good thing, from time to time. Others like, maybe not to be so... excellent, but take the work of doing it many times. I have understood that i appreciate this last much more. I think that maybe is because i think i would like to be an all day everyday friend, not a once a month one... And probably with some people we are... with some others we can't, i don't know.

Just words.